are of marriageable age. Once that has happened, the actual figures do not tell the whole story, as
the process has a dynamic of its own.
Further figures show a higher rate of both marriage and cohabitation by men. These show that :-
32 per cent of 22.31 million men are without partner (i.e. 7,139,200 approx)
39 per cent of 23.84 million women are without a partner ( i.e. 9,297,600 approx)
Giving a surplus of 2,158,400 women, or 9.05 per cent of the female population above
marriageable age and 23.2 per cent of women who are old enough to have a partner but
do not in fact have one.
The bare figures therefore show that while the general population follows a 49:51 ratio, this works
out at over 9 per cent of all adult women and almost a quarter of single adult women who cannot
marry in a monogamous society.
By the means outlined above a seemingly small excess of women can have a large effect on
society. The availability of polygamy works against this – and so it is unsurprising to note that
polygamous societies have historically had lower rates of fornication, adultery, prostitution and
abortion than our own.
Polygamy was a way of life until the Quran was revealed 1400 years ago.
When the earth was young and under-populated, polygamy was one way of
populating it and bringing in the human beings needed to carry out God’s
plan. By the time the Quran was revealed, the world had been sufficiently
populated, and the Quran put down the first limitations against polygamy.
Polygamy is permitted in the Quran, but under strictly observed
circumstances. Any abuse of this divine permission incurs severe retribution.
Thus, although polygamy is permitted by God, it behooves us to examine our
circumstances carefully before saying that a particular polygamous
relationship is permissible.
Our perfect example here is the prophet Muhammad. He was married to one
wife, Khadijah, until she died. He had all his children, except one, from
Khadijah. Thus, she and her children enjoyed the Prophet’s full attention for
as long as she was married to him; twenty-five years. For all practical
purposes, Muhammad had one wife – from the age of 25 to 50. During the
remaining 13 years of his life, he married the aged widows of his friends who
left many children. The children needed a complete home, with a fatherly
figure, and the Prophet provided that. Providing a fatherly figure for orphans
is the only specific circumstance in support of polygamy mentioned in the
Quran (4:3).
Other than marrying widowed mothers of orphans, there were three political
marriages in the Prophet’s life. His close friends Abu Bakr and Omar insisted
that he marry their daughters, Aisha and Hafsah, to establish traditional family
ties among them. The third marriage was to Maria the Egyptian; she was
given to him as a political gesture of friendship from the ruler of Egypt.
This perfect example tells us that a man must give his full attention and
loyalty in marriage to his wife and children in order to raise a happy and
wholesome family.
The Quran emphasizes the limitations against polygamy in very strong words:
“If you fear lest you may not be perfectly equitable in treating more than one
wife, then you shall be content with one.” (4:3)
“You cannot be equitable in a polygamous relationship, no matter how hard you
try.” (4:129)
The Quranic limitations against polygamy point out the possibility of abusing
God’s law. Therefore, unless we are absolutely sure that God’s law will not be
abused, we had better resist our lust and stay away from polygamy. If the
circumstances do not dictate polygamy, we had better give our full attention
to one wife and one set of children. The children’s psychological and social
well-being, especially in countries where polygamy is prohibited, almost
invariably dictate monogamy. A few basic criteria must be observed in
contemplating polygamy:
1. It must alleviate pain and suffering and not cause any pain or suffering.
2. If you have a young family, it is almost certain that polygamy is an abuse.
3. Polygamy to substitute a younger wife is an abuse of God’s law (4:19). Polygamy in Jewish History
The Bible, in tolerating polygamy, gives evidence that the practice had long been an accepted social
institution when these laws were written down. In the patriarchal age polygamy is regarded as an
unquestioned custom. While the Bible gives a reason for the action of Abraham in taking Hagar for
an additional wife and, in the case of Jacob, for having Rachel as a wife besides Leah, it only proves
that polygamy as well as concubinage, with which it was always associated, was among the mores
of the ancient Hebrew people (Gen. 16:1-4; 29:23-28). The same attitude is revealed in the episode
of Abimelech and Sarah (Gen. 20:1-l3).
Polygamy was such a well established part of the social system that Mosaic law is not even critical
of it. We find only certain regulations with respect to it; as, for example, if a man takes a second
wife the economic position of the first wife and of the children she bore must be secure; and, in the
case of inheritance, no child of a subsequent marriage is to be preferred over a child from the first
wife. Other regulations were that the high priest could have only one wife and that a king in Israel
should not have too many wives (Lev. 21:13; Deut. 17:17; Ex. 21:10). The last injunction, however,
was of no effect. David had seven wives before he began to reign in Jerusalem, and an
extraordinary number of wives and concubines has been attributed to Solomon (II Sam 3:2-5, 14;
5:13). In connection with David, the prophet Nathan did not denounce the king for adding Uriah’s
wife to those he already had but for the means he employed to secure her (II Sam. 12:7-15).
However, if polygamy was not forbidden it was not directly sanctioned. It was a heritage from the
past and it was left undisturbed. As the civilization of the people reached a higher form and,
especially under the teaching of the prophets, their moral and religious consciousness developed, the
polygamous system gradually declined. This is noticeable in Israel after the return from the Exile. In
the Second Commonwealth polygamy is far from general (cf. Tobit and Susanna). Yet it survived
far into the Christian era. In the New Testament Jesus neither condemns polygamous unions nor
advocates a change in the system. From this noninterference attitude Luther, as late as the 16th
cent., arrived at the conclusion that he could not forbid the taking of more than one wife.
According to the Talmud the right to a plurality of wives is conceded, but the number of legitimate
wives, as in the Koran, is limited to four. The taking of additional wives is held as sufficient ground
for divorce for a woman who had previously been the sole wife. Where a polygamous union exists,
provision must be made for adequate maintenance of each wife as well as a separate domicile.
Throughout the Talmudic age not one rabbi is known to have had more than one wife. Monogamy
was held to be the only ideal legal union; plurality of wives was a concession to time and condition.
At a later period Maimonides in his Mishneh Torah maintains, contrary to his personal opinion, that
polygamous unions from a strictly legal point of view are permissible. Eventually, however, they
were proscribed under the authority of Rabbi Gershom (about l000), although cases of polygamy
were found in Spain as late as the 14th cent. That such cases were not rare may be inferred from
the fact that in the Spanish communities the Kethubah, the document marking the betrothal, exacted
that the man was not to take a second wife. The Islamic influence on the Jews in Spain was more
or less pronounced until the expulsion at the end of the 15th cent.
In modern Europe polygamy disappeared from Jewish domestic life while among Christians it
remained a tolerated privilege of royalty until very late times. In the declaration against polygamy of
the Sanhedrin convoked by Napoleon in Paris, in 1805, there is no implication that modern Judaism
tolerated plural marriages. It was just an emphatic assertion that Jews had discarded the orientalism
of the past and were in full accord with the culture and civilization of Western Europe.
To Find True Love:
On the full moon, have ready a love incense (such as rose
or musk) and a pink candle. If possible, go outside and
look up at the moon, holding the candle in your power
hand. Hold the candle up towards the moon and tell the
Goddess what traits you would like in a lover, and most
importantly, that you do want a lover. Don’t use a specific
person’s name; THIS IS CONTROL AND ISN’T ETHICAL!
Back inside, create a little altar by spreading out a pink
and white cloth. Light your love incense. You might want
to play some soft or romantic music. Sit before the altar
and think of the traits you want in a lover. Don’t visualize
a specific person!
Take the pink candle and lightly scratch or carve “true
love” along one side of it. Set the pink candle in a sturdy,
fireproof holder, and light it.
Say:
Moon of love and shining grace
I would see my lover face to face.
Heart to heart I long to be
With the special someone meant for me.
Leave the candle in a safe place to burn out completely,
preferably on the altar.
SPELL FOR THE JOINING OF SOULS
This spell is definitely not ethical, but it is very effective. Remember that magic is a two-way street, and that
you will be equally bound. Sprinkle dried white roses with almond oil and burn them inside a magic circle as
you recite the spell. Add slips of paper with your names written on them if you have trouble getting the roses
to burn.
.
By all that lives on land and sea
by the incoming and the outgoing
by the odd numbers and the even
by the power of three times three
thy waking thoughts shall be of me
from now throughout eternity
no peace or increase shall you find
until your hand is joined in mine
I bind thee heart and soul and mind to me
I bind thee eyes and thoughts and loins to me
I bind thee to me forever
with cords of velvet longing
by the white rose and the rosemary
by the caverns and the groves
by the silence of the mountains
by the chasms and the standing stones
I bind thee forever to me
with cords of silken danger
Isis, Astarte, Ishtar
Aphrodite, Venus
I bind thee to me forever
so mote it be
.
SPELL FOR THE BINDING OF UNION
.
There are two kinds of union. One is temporary, for this lifetime or for part of this lifetime. The other kind
is the Eternal Marriage, which brings reunion across time, through reincarnation. The Eternal Marriage is
a soul mate thing that should not be undertaken lightly – making it with the wrong person can adversely
affect your karma. So can making it without reciprocation. Making it with more than one person can make
for a tumultuous love life in future incarnations. Be careful.
To work the spell, write both names on a piece of papyrus or good quality paper. Bind it with red thread and
burn it with herbs of Love or Venus as you recite the spell. Bury the ashes beneath a tree, or scatter them
near the pyramids in Egypt. It is an Arab proverb that ‘time laughs at history, but the pyramids laugh at
time’. This is an eternal spell, unless you alter it. It can also be used for hand